Don't Talk to Strangers - How Caring For Your Audience Helps Stage Fright & Fear of Public Speaking

So often, speakers feel that they are getting up in front of strangers. And worse, they expect that the strangers in their audience will be unacceptable or disapproving of what they have to say. The thought that they might not like you or agree with you triggers a terrifying reaction in your body and mind. The result is stage fright and fear of public speaking.

I tell my speaking students to focus on loving their listeners rather than worrying about whether they will like you or not. The latter holds no power. There is no power in being concerned about whether they will like you. The only power is in choosing to like them, care for them, be there for them.

So what if you changed your perception of the audience and chose to see them as friends? In doing so, your relationship with listeners changes to a positive connection. Since what you focus on expands and what you give out is what you get back, why not focus on caring for your listeners, audiences and groups?

The next time you have to speak to a group, look at them as friends who you are just getting to know. Take a little time at the beginning of your talk to get to know them. Maybe even ask some questions about what they know, think or feel about your topic so you understand where they are with the subject matter. Make speaking about listening to your audience and being with them in a friendly way.

As you engage them in conversation, talk to one person at a time. Hold a one to one conversation so that at all times you are just talking to one person. Then talk with another person. The magic of this is that when you are having a real conversation with one person, everyone in the audience feels connected with because there is a real connection happening in the room.

Finally, be genuine with them. Share the ideas and expertise and stories that have helped you. In the same way you would share new ideas with friends at a party, share your ideas, insights and expertise with listeners. Realize that you have no idea how much you might be helping someone with your speaking.

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Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking With Hypnosis

Ask a lot of people what they most fear and you may be surprised .  It may not be fear of flying, heights, spiders, dogs or open spaces.

It is , however, just as debilitating and irrational and often does not even have a cause - it is the fear of public speaking.  Whether it is making a business presentation or a best man's speech or a colleague's leaving party you could be feeling the following:

Dry mouth
Increased heart rate
Sweating
Blushing
Feeling tongue-tied
Muscular tension in the neck or stomach
Nausea or fainting
A sense of dread

Often one would naturally feel these symptoms during a situation of genuine panic like a fire or other emergency but wholly inappropriate to a presentation, business meeting or dissertation of some kind.

The fear usually develops during university years or when taking on greater responsibilities at work - when the pressure is on the fear of looking foolish in front of others can become overwhelming and then after one or two bad experiences the mind starts to predict bad things happening again .

So the experience leaves an imprint in the subconscious which is then compounded by negative self-talk - i.e. one's own negative hypnotic suggestions.

My experience as a top London hypnotherapist tells me that we can use the power of positive suggestion and imagery to wipe out this programme in the mind and replace it with something more useful.

Even if we cannot achieve a total elimination of the fear we can at least turn it into common or garden nervousness which is controllable.

If this is your major fear - why not give hypnosis a try?

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Public Speaking Fear - How To Overcome It

A series of studies confirms the fact that public speaking is feared more than death. Think about that for a moment and just how ludicrous it is. More people are afraid of delivering a simple presentation than they are of life's end. Clearly, that is irrational. No logical person would trade their life away in order to avoid ten minutes in front of co-workers discussing recent company trends.

So, we know that speech anxiety is common. We know that it can lead to all sorts of discomfort and nastiness for people forced to confront it. We also know that many people are so afraid of speaking that they consider it a fate worse than death. All of that points to one conclusion: speech anxiety is a very powerful force.

The fear of public speaking, although more intensely felt than some other fears, still holds a lot in common with other sources of nervousness. Assuming a fear is misplaced to at least some extent, the original source of the worry tends to stem from some level of personal insecurity and/or a lack of information. Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance creates fear, and that fear is intensified even more when we know we are ignorant. That is the case with public speaking.

We do not feel comfortable giving a speech and we know it. We feel unprepared, disorganized and unsure of our ability to make a point without humiliating ourselves in front of others. We feel inadequate and we know it long before we open our mouths to give an introduction. Had we found the information necessary to approach speech construction and delivery and learned it, we would feel better about the situation.

If everyone knew some simple ways to come up with a great presentation and some simple tricks regarding delivery, they could approach public speaking with a greater level of assuredness. If they knew even more about public speaking--perhaps even some details and perspective on speech anxiety--their fear would be even further mitigated.

There are few people in the world who can hop up in front of others and being speaking without hesitation or fear. They are the exceptions. Most of us, all things being otherwise equal, would choose to avoid giving a public presentation. That preference may be a reflection of our personality, but it is also a reflection of our good sense.

You see we do not want to give a speech because we know we are inadequately prepared to do a good job. Our fears may be inappropriately large, but they are rooted in some honest self-assessment. We fear what we do not know. We fear that even more when we know just how much we do not know!

If you were called upon to deliver a public speech today, how would you react? If you said you would be glad to do so and were ready to go that means one of two things: either you have a great deal of confidence based on having developed good public speaking skills or you are one of those few people who have no qualms about presenting (even if they don't have the talent or technique to do it well). In other words, those who have no fear of public speaking are either skilled or ignorant without realizing it.

The fear of public speaking is rational. Many people, however, carry that rational fear to an irrational extreme.

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