How's Your Social Wellness Shaping Up?

Do you have a social life? And if you do, is it giving you what you need? Who we spend our time with and what we do with them affects our state of health and well-being. I call this social wellness.

How much time do you spend time with people who know you well?

Our energies are often focused on managing the 'to do' lists and meeting daily obligations at work and at home. In order to create balance we need to have fun with people who know us well and who won't judge us. We spend enough time engaged in careful conversations where we have to be 'on'. It's important to have down time where we can relax and be our authentic selves with others.

Do the people you socialize with share your values? Do they support the healthy changes you wish to make?

For instance, if your goal is to become more physically active, you need to have a hiking buddy, someone to take a yoga class with, a tennis partner, or a co-worker who will walk with you at lunchtime.
Have you noticed the affect people have on you?

Social wellness has to do with surrounding yourself as often as possible with people who bring out the best in you, those who leave you feeling energized rather than depleted.

Try this out the next time you are with someone. Notice how you feel when you leave their 'space'. I have noticed that with some people I feel good about myself, confident, valued, and nourished. With others I feel bad about myself, full of doubt, manipulated, and insecure. The goal is to spend the majority of time with those who enhance our social wellness.

What affect are you having on others?

You can also start to notice the affect you are having on others. For example, when you are speaking to someone watch their face and their body language.

I notice when I speak with a disrespectful or critical tone that the person looks sad and their body droops like a wilting flower. Or they get aggressive and defensive. When I speak to someone with respect and genuine care I notice their face is soft and they respond with more openness and cooperation.

We're all affecting each other whether we realize it or not.

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