Showing posts with label Common. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Common. Show all posts

Monday, October 4, 2010

3 Common causes of fear of public speaking - and how ahead of them once and for all Blast

In seems incredible to anyone who speaks regularly to groups, but the number one fear people have a fear of public speaking.

It 'a shame, but true. Unfortunately for the person who can not break the scale of the fear that surrounds them ... and sorry for all those people who have never had the opportunity to learn from each other, life experiences and observations. Here we look at three cases of fear of public speaking - andhow to overcome every time.

Research shows that this fear was developed in mid-late childhood. Younger children seem to have no fear at all. They wanted to express themselves without reservation. But once fear takes hold, often has a negative effect for life - unless corrective action is taken at some point.

One might think that there would be many causes of fear of public speaking, but in most cases, atraumatic asked the culprit.

It usually begins as a negative, although humiliated in front of your classmates for what you said. As an unpleasant experience is captured by the mind as a camera captures an image and is stored in the memory of the child.

Later, when faced with a similar situation emerges for the memory and the emotional impact, it overshadows everything. The innate response is "fight or flight '... rather than playwith confidence.

Although such an experience has never happened to you personally, you may have seen the humiliation of a classmate, or heard from a friend. It is likely that this tale of a witness or a story left an indelible mark.

It 'also possible that your parents had a similar experience and you just took their fear. Perhaps you bought the common belief that speaking in public is something that is best avoided, as the flu.

Whatyou need to realize is that the power of these beliefs influenced the change. It 's a shame that the early experience can turn off the public speaking for life. And what about all those people who want to lose your knowledge and experience, simply because we are afraid to return?

The reality is that even the most experienced speakers plus the anxiety of public speaking. But the difference is that they have learned some fear into positiveenergy. In other words, to transform fear into power, fear of getting an advantage. The result is an interesting conversation, which fascinates the public.

Every public wants the best for you. If you're worried about criticism from the crowd, you're thinking the wrong things. The public tend to be very understanding. We appreciate it if you focus on delivering a message that is useful and instructive.

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

3 Common Public Speaking Myths Laid to Rest

In my line of work I run into a million and one opinions, myths, and untruths. To understand why you have to look at the nature of the subject:

Is public speaking mysterious? Check
Is public speaking a subjective topic? Check
Are many people afraid of public speaking? Check
Is public speaking grossly misunderstood? Check

When you have a subject that manages to be mysterious, subjective, fear inducing, and misunderstood these things tend to happen. Fortunately, I'm here to right those wrongs and put 3 common myths to bed for you.

1 - YOU are the Focus

This statement is a flat out lie. The speech is never about you. If it was there would only be 3 people in attendance:

You
Your Wife
Your retired neighbor
People open their ears and listen to you because you have something of value to offer them. Our world is very selfish, face-paced, winner take all environment. People aren't going to show (or shut) up to hear you speak if there are no benefits. Many inexperienced speakers make the mistake of scaring themselves silly thinking they must be the focal point of the presentation. In actuality there are only 2 ways for this to happen:

You are an incredibly bad speaker (5%)
You are an incredible speaker (5%)

If you are part of that other 90% then you honestly have nothing to fear. The odds are in your favor.

2 - You Must be the Know it all Expert On Your Topic

Another rookie mistake is thinking that you must be the know it all expert to present. You should speak from a solid knowledge base in order to feel comfortable. Don't burden yourself with the expectation that you will know everything. You're setting yourself up for failure if you do.

Last week I was giving a seminar to the Executive Board of the National Action Network. One of the participants was incredibly feisty and argumentative. She jumped down my throat when I mentioned that it wasn't feasible to know everything about a specific topic. To prove a point I purposefully asked her about a recent disagreement between rapper Lil' Wayne and Al Sharpton. Her face went blank. She looked around the room as her colleagues screamed out different answers to my question. Before they could blurt out the answer I quieted them and returned to her.

"Do you know the answer to my question?" I asked.

"Honestly, I have no idea who you're talking about. I thought this Wayne character was a mayor or governor or something" she replied. A look of disappointment drowned out her facial features.

I turned to her and said, "Remember this. The words I don't know are your friend. It's smart to admit that you don't know the answer to a question. It allows you to save face and reply to the question later. If you lie or try and make something up you lose credibility with each passing word."

Repeat after me...I don't know but I can find out. Those words will save you much pain.

3 - People Will Ridicule You Afterward

Remember what I said earlier about being the center of attention? It applies to this myth as well. If you're giving a presentation and its going bad then consider this.Most people would prefer not to stand in front of a crowd so they sympathize with and support you. I've seen speakers get a boost from the audience mid speech because they appeared to lose control of the situation. The audience wants you to win.

I've experienced about 100 speeches in the last few years. I've heard 2 or 3 people with extremely negative feedback with regards to a speech. 3 out of 100 (3%) is a number I can live with. The likelihood doesn't substantiate the myth.

Conclusion

Many myths exist about the wonderful world of public speaking. Those myths are derived from a lack of experience and practice. In today's article I focused specifically on 3 of them:

You are not the focus of the speech.
You don't have to be a know it all expert to make a presentation.
People will not ridicule you afterward.
I've disproved all of these myths in one fell swoop. Remember, you are NOT the focus of the speech, you do not have to be the know it all, and people will not ridicule you after a presentation. Stop listening to the myths and drink some truth serum. It tastes good.

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